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Why is it that most of us, when given 9 affirmations and 1 negative comment, will focus on the negative?
This happened to me today. I recently posted something that had received a lot of good feedback. People were reaching out to me to tell me that what I’d shared was exactly what they needed and had been really helpful.
Then, someone I hadn’t spoken to or even thought of for the last 5 years decided to drop a negative, snarky comment on that same post. It was a spiteful attack that didn’t reflect our relationship at all (and in fact reflects this person’s own issues).
I knew based on previous experience that any response I made would be taken as an invitation to escalate, resulting in rants and insults. So I knew not to respond to the comment, but I wasn’t sure what else to do. Ignore it? Delete it? Block the person again?
Some people (especially antagonists like this one) think that deleting and blocking is a sign of weakness. But let me tell you, it’s NOT a sign a weakness. It’s a sign of strength.
You get to choose who you will and won’t allow in your life, and it’s empowering to make that choice.
In the same way, it’s empowering to choose what messages you’ll believe about yourself. The childhood saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is a truthful, empowering statement — but only if we believe it.
It’s true that words have power, which is why it’s so important to choose the words you’ll accept.
When you start taking a stand for your cause, you start spreading your message, and your visibility increases, pay attention to the responses you receive. If someone shows up with negativity, you have the power to choose your response.
So often people engage with the toxic trolls and before you know it, it spirals downward until people start posting a gif of Michael Jackson eating popcorn.
Chose to release.
Ban, block, delete.
And don’t give it a second thought.
You have the ability to equip and empower people who want your help. Don’t waste your time or energy on someone who is hellbent on spreading their issues.
Choose the energy you want to draw into your life and focus on the 99% of people who appreciate and value you.